Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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