theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
