I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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