If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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