i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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