i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
