Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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