there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
