i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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