I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
