Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
