My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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