Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
