i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
