i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
