There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Randomize