Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
