cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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