I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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