I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
