LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
COCAINE IS GR8
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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