Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
