Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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