i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize