We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
