This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
