I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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