Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
