why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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