that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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