Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize