So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
