I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
