Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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