office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
