ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
