belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
