Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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