his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
