just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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