The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
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I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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