Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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