Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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