As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
