Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
And then my night got REAL pukey
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
