Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
