How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
