It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
