hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
