if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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