its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
