drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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