We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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