Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
