Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I have fence marks all over my body
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
