She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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