If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
