I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
