Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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